


A Shy Kiss

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: AU version of the scene in the apartment, Episode: s08e19 Alone, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Set in "Alone": Mulder and Scully are still trying to navigate their relationship now that Mulder is back.





	A Shy Kiss

Mulder being on time is one of the many things she still hasn’t gotten used to yet. It’s right up there with her entering the office in the morning and not seeing him behind the desk. That’s one thing she can cross off her list now, of course. She opens the door to him, not quite ready herself.

“Hey,” he greets her with a warm, yet boyishly nervous smile. That is a sight she knows, at least. “Ready to roll?”

“Let me just grab my keys.” She is out of breath, again. She turns away from Mulder in search of her keys, but also because she doesn’t want him to see her like this. He gets this look in his eyes that is hard to interpret. It makes her uneasy. Today she can’t afford to feel uneasy. She picks up her keys and as they dangle from her fingers she briefly thinks of Agent Doggett and the keychain she gave him. He is all alone, now. A feeling she knows too well herself.

“Hey, don’t forget this,” leave it to Mulder to distract her; she turns to him just as he’s about to stuff one of her pillows under his shirt, “relax the back, breathe in and breathe out.”

“How do you know all these things, Mulder?” She takes the pillow from him; it feels warm against her skin.

“I’m unemployed and have a lot of time on my hands. Oprah. I watch a lot of Oprah.” He is grinning at her, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Sadness transpires from him and she feels it, is sure she can almost touch it. It’s not because he misses the work. She knows that much. He misses what’s been taken from him; the life that went on without him in which he is still trying to find his place. A place where he irrevocably fits and belongs.

“If you’re bored, Mulder… you can always come here.” His eyes grow wide. Scully is glad she’s still holding a pillow as it gives her an excuse to occupy her hands.

“I can?” He asks with a voice lighter than a feather. Scully nods without looking at him; she picks off an invisible lint off the pillow. Before Mulder came back, when she still had hope that she would find him alive and well, she’d promised something. To herself, to the stars and whoever was listening. If he only came back to her, she would no longer hold back. She would let herself love him, let him love her. She’d tell him about her feelings. Now here she is, again. Mulder, against all odds, standing in front of her; the way it always was supposed to be, and yet never was. He tilts his head, waits for her answer. So many things unspoken, still so many things left unsaid. Scully lifts her head and smiles softly. Sometimes, and now is one of these moments, she can’t quite believe it. That this is really Mulder. She buried him and she moved on, one lousy step at a time. She tried to, anyway. Just to make sure – again – that he’s real, she reaches out and touches his shirt-clad chest. He’s so soft, so warm. She presses her palm against him and feels his heartbeat beating steadily against her skin.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me, doing this with me.” The words almost run together she says them so quickly. Mulder’s breath hitches and she looks up at him.

“I’m glad to be here, too. I wouldn’t mind being here more often either if that's… what you want?” His smile is shy, tentative even. They haven’t spoken about it; of course not. As always they let it fall under the table; one of them must have kicked it under the rug even. Now they both stumble over it from time to time yet neither of them is ready to confront it. Until now.

“Mulder, I do want you here. All the time,” again with the wide eyes that amuse Scully so much, “well, maybe not all the time. The apartment isn’t that big.” He nods, understands. “But I do want you here, Mulder. So next time you’re bored…”

“I can just come over?” She nods and they smile at each other, chuckle like school children. “We should get going if we don’t want to be late.” Mulder helps her into her coat and puts his hand on the small of her back where it belongs. Some things haven’t, and hopefully will never, change. She smiles a secret smile. They’re a long way from where they could be. Should be, most likely. If Mulder hadn’t disappeared… but today she doesn’t want to walk the lonely road of what if’s. He’s missed so much, but he’s here now. There’s still time.

“Hey Scully?” She turns to him absent-mindedly, her thoughts still hung up on all the things she hasn’t but wants to tell him. 

“Hm?” Scully watches him lean in; it’s as if it were happening in slow motion. Mulder gives her all the time in the world to move away, to stop him. As if she would want that. His lips meet hers in a kiss so soft, so shy that she is not sure she is just imaging it. This is not their first kiss, per se. It’s their first kiss now, though. The first one After. It ends too chaste and way too soon. Scully’s eyes are still closed when Mulder’s lips leave her.

“We should get going,” he whispers and she just smiles, nods. She opens her eyes, wants to see Mulder. In his face she sees all her prayers answered. It’s more than she ever could have asked for.


End file.
